“Love of life!” has been the response from several readers when asked what they most wanted for their children. And I agree, but wonder where that love comes from. Are we born with it? Is it magic? Is it God? I’m not enough of a theologian, philosopher, or psychologist to attempt to find all these answers. I just look for simple ways to urge the children I know to discover a love of life---which brings me to the subject of Monster Repellent.
I heard on the news this morning that a mom in the Western U.S. has started marketing a harmless spray to enable little ones to ward off monsters. Cute idea. It reminded me of my grandson, Evan, who just turned 3 last month. He believes that a dragon lives in the basement, a very scary dragggonnn. You should know that my son and daughter-in-law spent six months renovating the basement into a giant playroom with sky-blue walls and comfy green carpet. And most of the spiders are dead. Nevertheless, Evan needs big sister, the dog, mom, dad, grandpa---anyone and everyone---to walk down the stairs with him. All the while, mentioning that a dragon lives down there.
During my last visit I slept in the guest bedroom, which was also in the basement, behind the playroom. Every morning, Evan and Maddie (big sister) and Phoebe (the dog) would creep down the stairs to see if I was awake yet. Then Evan would warn me that a dragon lived down there and I would reassure him that I hadn’t seen a dragon. We began playing with the many toys scattered about. Then Evan snuggled close to me and his sister and asked us to turn off the lights, which we did. Evan shhh’d us and whispered, “I think he’s coming!!!” And then snuggle even closer. And then giggle. And then laugh. And then ask us to turn the lights back on. We repeated this little game at least a dozen times over three days.
I tell this story not just because grandpas like to tell stories about their grandchildren, but because of how impressed I was that Evan chose to face his fear of the dragon. Isn’t that what we read about dealing with fear. Pick a safe situation, face the fear, and hold hands with somebody you love. What could be better!
I am concerned that too often adults rush to prevent children from experiencing fear, instead of looking for ways to face the fear and conquer it. Every time I can recall facing a fearful situation and getting through it, I can remember the tremendous feeling of confidence and well being that followed. I saw that happening for Evan and thought what a great rehearsal for the challenges to come and the “dragons” we face as adults.
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3 comments:
A very smart/intuitive little man you have there in Evan! (but of course)...
I personally think magic is one of the most important things we can have in life... and there's just so much of it..in everything!
Nice post.
This seems closely related to the previous post, to me - doesn't a lot of it come down to timing? You have to have a moment where you're ready to face the fear or to learn some new thing, and you *also* have to have someone who recognizes you're there and can be with you to help you through the scary part or to give you access to the things you need to learn. And no wonder that doesn't happen in public schools where there are too many kids to many that much attention to and too much pointless testing and activities, etc, to pursue what the *moment* requires rather than what the state happens to think should be happening in that room at that moment....
Two of my cousins were discussing how "awful" fairy tales and Beatrix Potter stories are because they have scary elements. Give me a break! Our overprotection of children is already having its effects. High self esteem these kids may have. Ability to handle adversity? A sense of community? I have my doubts.
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