I am a retired educator, but not a retired parent. Actually, as I am experiencing it, I can retire from the chores of both---but not the caring for either. In response to my endless complaining about the ideas we are currently following as parents, teachers, and decision-makers, my daughter has been encouraging me to start a blog. After six months and dozens of drafts, I’ve been stuck. …until yesterday.
We were on the phone and I confessed my lack of progress. I expected that subtle tone of disappointment. Instead, she cheerily offered another suggestion for becoming unstuck. That’s when it hit me. She had become the grownup and I was acting like the kid who didn’t want to do his homework. Whoa, I wasn’t prepared for this! But isn’t this exactly what I have been working towards for her entire lifetime? Independence, competence, a sense of responsibility, caring for others…I am one proud papa!
If you are anything like me, you do not measure what you want for your child in test scores or “Annual Yearly Progress.” When asked the question, many parents respond with the tried and true: success and/or happiness. And in these troubling times of terrorism and toxic toys, it is easy to become preoccupied with issues of health and safety. I don’t have much to offer as a writer for how to make the world healthier or safer for children. I will leave those issues for others. But, I am fascinated with what kind of parenting and schooling results in kids we can be proud of. So my first challenge to myself, and anyone reading this: what is it, specifically, that we want for our children?
Origin of the name, Kelderek Zenzuata
Excerpts from Shardik by Richard Adams:
“Is this man a half-wit? Asked Bel-ka-Trazet, turning to Zelda.
“Why, my lord,” replied Zelda, “I know little of him, but I believe he is known for something of a simple fellow. They laugh at him---he plays with the children---“
“He does what?”
“He plays with children, my lord, on the shore.”
“What else?”
“Otherwise he is solitary, as hunters often are. He lives alone and harms no one, as far as I know. His father had hunter’s rights to come and go and he has been allowed to inherit them. If you wish, we can send to find out more.”…
“Well, Kelderek,” said the High Baron, pronouncing his name with a slight emphasis that somehow conveyed contempt, “while you have been filling your belly, I have learned as much as there is to be known about a man like you---all, that is, but what you are going to tell me now, Kelderek Zenzuata. Do you know they call you that?”
“Yes, my lord.”
“Kelderek Play-with-the-Children. A solitary young man, with no taste for taverns, it seems, and an unnatural indifference toward girls, but known nevertheless for a skillful hunter who often brings in game and rarities for the factors trading with Gelt and Bekla.”…
“Why do you play with the children? A young man unmarried---what sort of nonsense is that?”
Kelderek considered.
“Children often need friends,” he said, “Some of the children I play with are unhappy. Some have been left with no parents---their parents have deserted them---“
He broke off in confusion, meeting the gaze of Bel-ka-Trazet’s distorted eye over the ridge. After some minutes he muttered, “The flames of God---“
“What? What did you say?”
“The flames of God, my lord. Children---their eyes and ears are still open---they speak the truth---"
lyrics for Teach Your Children
You who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a good bye.
Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.
And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.
Teach your parents well,
Their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.
sung by Crosby, Stills & Nash
4 comments:
Yay yay yay!!!!! A perfect first post to an exciting new blog!!! The pride goes both ways, believe me!
And I can't wait to see what come next!
Congrats on the start of your blog... it will be a great addition to your life! I look forward to seeing more in the future.
I am here from Kate's blog. I read her because she is intelligent, articulate and thoughtful--the same reasons that I will be reading yours. I have two grown sons, and I suffered for many years as they struggled through the educational system that seemed determined to douse their love of learning. What do I want for my sons? That they have a love of life. In this cynical age, this is no small task.
Congratulations and welcome to the land of blogging! So glad you made it.
I've been reading Kate's blog for over a year now and knew from the beginning what a delightful, bright, and exceptional soul she is, and I thank you for your part in her raising.
I agree with Laura Sue, the love of life. Having three adult children it's not always been easy but I've asked all three if they felt they had happy childhoods. To see the smile on their faces as they thought about and answered with an honest yes meant the world to me.
This is not an easy world to live in but I do believe a happy childhood is a great start and base.
Again, welcome!
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